Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted as saying, “Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.”
Tom’s feet were as soft as Q-tips, and his personality equally as gentle. He was good looking, but not handsome. Pleasing, but not dashing. If he’d been trapped in an animal shelter, chances are most folks would have walked right past him, as his orange and white coat resembled that worn by many others of his kind. Really, there were no other distinguishing characteristics about his appearance. Most of his life, he was just a little bit overweight. In a way, he resembled a rounded pillow, like something that might get lost in the corner of the couch.
His personality was equally reserved. Anyone taking him home would have needed time to get to know him. He wasn’t prone to showing off with a fancy preen or predatory pounce. He was like one of those beings who’s always around, but kind of recedes into the background. He could be easily overlooked, but after the third year, the fifth year, then the tenth year of just being there, day in and day out, with a happy smile and an affectionate purr, he managed to weave himself into our lives, until we wondered what it was ever like without him.
At the ranch, Tom was a permanent fixture in the stockyard. His favorite place was a dark hole between the hay bales, and that’s where we could find him when his hearing degenerated to the point where he no longer came to us at feeding time. We put up a bell then, near the tack room where the dishes were. When it rang, it sent out vibrations that he seemed to sense even when he couldn’t hear much else. True to his steady nature, he was the same calm, happy creature every day, without fail, even when a nasty infection wounded his face, and later, when a stroke paralyzed him from his belly to his back legs. Not once did he complain, whine, or seem to feel sorry for himself. He just waited for us to help him to the dish, where he could eat, and then he ate, happily. Until he couldn’t, anymore.
It wasn’t just us humans who grew deeply attached. Hardly a day went by that we didn’t see Miss Fluff Puff hanging out with him, either taking turns grooming or enjoying the warm rays of the sun, two friends content to just be in each other’s presence. They didn’t have to do anything special, like hunt or explore or run races around the goat pens. Tom wouldn’t have gone for any of that, anyway. He preferred taking it easy, and company was much appreciated. If his companion grew bored and wanted to indulge in all that running around stuff, he’d be happy to wait right here, thank you very much, until she was ready to return and chill out for awhile.
Seventeen years he shared life with us here on the ranch, and in his quiet, unassuming way, brightened our days. He taught us that no matter what, it’s okay to just be yourself in this life, as it’s through your own unique personality that you grace the lives of others. He showed us what true character is—one without the pretense of ego or self-importance, yet one that isn’t afraid to indulge in personal pleasure and satisfaction. He seemed to be a 24/7 representation of joy and contentment, as we never once saw him ruffled, angry, anxious, or depressed. How he managed such a feat we will never know. But it had a lasting effect on us. To think of Tom means to think of calm relaxation, and to remember that nothing in life is ever worth getting too riled up about.
He left us in his characteristic way. No problems, no fuss, no drama. He just laid down near his dish and closed his eyes. As if this, like everything else, was really no big deal.
What is a true friend? Perhaps one who walks softly, so that when he comes into our hearts, we’re hardly aware of the change, except for a light flicker in the chest. When it’s gone, its echo reminds us: Everything’s okay. The sun is out. There’s some warm hay nearby. Come spend a moment with me if you will, before you go about your day, and I will smile and be happy that you gave me the gift of your presence, even if just for a brief moment in time.
